Surrendering my Fears to the God who Tells me that I am Enough

“Fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
~Isaiah 41:10

•FEAR•

I wasn’t expecting to write about fear today, I actually had planned to make another lovely words post with little things from my personal instagram.  BUT God had other plans, so I feel like this is a good time to write about my fears.  God, please help me to understand what You want to teach me through this.

Fear, I feel like that word could be written across my forehead.  Fear of judgement, fear of rejection, and fear of failure.  When I read Isaiah 41:10, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice to not fear man?  Wouldn’t it be nice to not have fear because I know that God will uphold me with His righteous right hand?”.   It’s not that I don’t believe that God is for me, the problem is that I let my thoughts run wild and that results in anxiety, stress, and fear of the unknown.  Fear of man.

I’m going to go a little deeper into my fears.  It’s hard to go deep into the things that I’m not proud of, but I’ve known through experience that when you face your sin, that’s when God will take you out of it.  It’s not a process that happens overnight, but once you look your sin straight on, you can begin the process to redemption.  And you know what, Jesus has already redeemed you from all of your sin, even future sins, but sometimes that redemption needs to happen in a way that leads to self forgiveness as well.

Fear of judgement:  This is something that I’ve struggled with my whole life.  I’ve struggled with the specific fear of people judging me if they see the real me and ultimately running away in disappointment because I wasn’t who they wanted me to be. This is so dangerous because this is me trying to be good enough for imperfect people when I need to be focused on my worth in Christ.

One of my church’s pastors said that we are all looking for the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.) and when we sin, we’re trying to find them in people instead of God.  We can only find those things in God who is perfect, no one else can fill that gap.  So perhaps my fear of judgement is me trying to find love from people instead of from my heavenly Father who has a perfect love like no other.

Fear of rejection:  This one is recent.  Not something that I was expecting and it could go with my fear of judgement, but I feel that rejection is a lot more specific.  I am going through a specific trial in my life that I am filled with the fear of someone rejecting me.  I am afraid that if I can’t control my emotions, I’ll be rejected and tossed aside.  This comes from thoughts like, “You are not good enough” and “You aren’t worthy”.  These are not God’s words, these are the lies of the devil.

It’s hard to kick these thoughts out of my brain and sometimes they come up so sneakily. Before I know it, they are too big for me to handle.  I cramp up and don’t know what to do.  I can’t act now because I’m so crippled by fear.  This is the place that I don’t want to be in.  This is when I have to make a choice about what to believe, God’s truth that I am enough for Him or the lies of Satan.  Last one…

Fear of failure:  I like it when I am in control (woah, yeah that’s a big problem).  When I want to do something, I want to do it now and I want it to succeed.  That is a problem because if I try to do things my way, it will most like fall apart at my feet.  You know why?  Because everything I do needs a solid foundation that is God.  It’s hard to give up control and it’s even harder for me to feel the pain of failure.  The disappointment of a job that fell through.

Rejection can also fit into this (Are you seeing the pieces coming together?).  It’s funny how all of my fears have a way of connecting together.  It all comes down to me not looking to God to fill in the blank.  I try to fill in the spaces with praise from man that will only last a second.  My flesh will always turn to temporary glory instead of trying to please God and seeking approval from Him.  Maybe you can relate to that.

Now the question is, am I willing to learn, grow, and face my fears?  I would hope that the answer to that is always YES LORD JESUS.  A dear friend of mine told me that it’s ok if it’s hard.  It’s ok if you have to give it to God every single minute of your day because the key is to surrender.  I can’t carry my fears on my shoulders because I will fall, but with God by my side, He can carry them for me.  And even better, He can erase them completely, but I have to be ready to surrender.  I have to be ready to sing,

“Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
And my soul will dance
On the wings of forever

My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground.”
~Hillsong United

I have to be ready to fall on my knees at the feet of my Lord and Savior.  It’s not easy to do and some days will be easier than others, but that’s all God wants.  He just wants all of me.  He just wants all of you.  So my prayer will be that God will take my fears and replace them with His echoes of love, worth, and forgiveness.  Would you pray that with me as well?  Would you be willing to surrender your fears to the God who loves you and will never leave you?

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Finding Hope in Him alone

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can                               ~ Even If by MercyMe

•TRUST•

Even if you don’t, my hope is You alone.  You need a lot of faith and a lot of trust in God to believe in those words.  The world says to use God as a way to get what you want.  Our sinful nature always turns to selfishness.  Sometimes we just want God to give us what we ask for and we ask with a selfish heart.

The first story that came to my mind specifically after hearing the lyrics to this song is in the book of Daniel when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednago were being thrown into the fiery furnace.  These verses popped out to me:

“If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.  But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” – Daniel 3:17-18

It all lines perfectly together.  We know how great our God is and all of the amazing things that He can do and when we turn away from our selfishness and look to God as our King and provider, we can truly see God’s plan come to fruition.  Knowing that God can do whatever He wants and not worrying but trusting that He will lead you on the right path is a leap of faith shown in such a great way through the story of the fiery furnace.

However, as nice as that all sounds, it is so hard for me to truly believe that sometimes.  I want heartache and pain to go away immediately.  In my own timing and what is convenient for me.  I know that God has the power to do that, but when He chooses to not do that for the moment it’s usually when He wants to teach me something.  The learning process is hard, y’all.  It’s exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time, but it stinks when you’re stuck in the middle of it.  My selfishness of wanting my problems to just go away blinds me from seeing how God wants to change me through all of it and the reasons why He is keeping it in the forefront of my mind.  That reason is usually that He’s trying to teach me to give over all control.

You see, faith and trust come when you give God control over EVERY part of your life.  Yes, there are so many places that I’ve seen in my life where I am a complete control freak.  I didn’t realize it until God used the hard situations to show me smack in the face. That’s when I see that God has a greater plan for me and if I trust in Him, He will show me the way to redemption.  I cling to Him alone and find that He brought me through this hardship to know that He is faithful and good and able.

So when I think about trust and asking God to bring me out of the fire, I think of timing and how perfect HIS timing is opposed to mine.   His timing is perfect and He allows us to go through trials so that we can build character and a better relationship with our Father in heaven.  So when you go through the fire and are trying to seek God through it all, remember that He is always right there with you and He’s working it all out for a greater purpose.  When we put our own selfish desires aside, we can truly find hope in Him alone.

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

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Lovely Words

If you’ve seen my Instagram, I love to share little words of encouragement, verses, and things that God has been teaching me.  I will usually start them with just one word (or three!).  Here are a few that I have written so far and want to share with you.  🌼

• STRENGTH, PEACE, PRAYER • (Feb. 16, 2017)

These are three things that God has been teaching me. Living with His strength, finding peace in Him, and learning how to talk with Him. It’s been a journey, but God has blazed the trail already and is walking every step beside me. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” ~ Psalms 32:8 ❤

•WORSHIP• (Feb. 23, 2017)IMG_20170223_184210_918

If you asked me what I was passionate about, worship would be my answer. Worship through dance and song. Hula has been a part of me since I was 6 years old and every year, my heart desires it more and more. It desires to express worship, praise, and thankfulness to my God. I am forever in awe of the ways that we can give worship to the King of the world. Beautiful ways of movement, words of love, and notes of instruments. We were made to worship our God and to give Him the glory. Hula is not just a dance, it is a gift that God has given me and a gift that I will keep on giving back to Him because I am made to worship. Even when God points me in a different direction for a season, He always gives me a new opportunity to express my worship to Him. He takes me out of my comfort zone and pushes me to use my gifts to the fullest. So as I am learning and growing, I can continually lose myself in His presence and sing to my God. 🌺🌺🌺
“And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, ‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!'” ~Revelation 5:13

• R E S T • (March 16, 2017)

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“Find rest, oh my soul, in God alone.” – Psalm 62:5
This is something that has been absent from my life for a while now. It’s something that I don’t realize is an important thing until it’s gone. /If my time is filled with serving the Lord, do I need a “break” from doing things for Him?/ Rest is something that I have been convicted about, but I don’t have the answer. The truth is, rest is taking time out of my day for just me and God. I can be doing what God has called me to do, serve others, and spend time with kids, but the ultimate result will be exhaustion. EXHAUSTION, because my body can’t putter on without a recharge. So I guess it’s not that I need to take a “break” from the things that make me happy, it’s the fact that God wants me to rest and recharge IN HIM so that I can continue to do His work on His power alone. Rest is something that our society doesn’t promote. It’s looked upon as laziness, but look at it this way… If you have a personal relationship with God, He wants to have time ALONE with you just like any of your other earthly friends do. Resting is giving God that time to RESTORE, REPLENISH, and REFOCUS your heart and mind. 🌺

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